After A Break Up: What To Expect & How to Survive

After a break up, your mind becomes the enemy. Your thoughts become more and more automatic and overwhelming. You obsess about the details of your last conversation. You keep running it all through your mind for a clue or insight that might have changed the outcome. You think about all your past actions, your partner’s actions and how things ended so badly. This is the worst time to try to sort things out. Your mind is simply saturated, exhausted and spinning. It’s like a conversation loop, the words repeating over and over. It’s common to want to keep analyzing the situation in hopes of solving the problem. In spite of your thought patterns, the only way to help yourself now is to break this pattern. Tell yourself you did your best. The situation is what it is. You’ll never be able to move forward without getting out of this unhealthy mind-chatter. The only goal now is quiet the mind and find some peace. After a break up, returning your mind to equilibrium is the only way to begin the healing process.

Your body begins to show the effects of stress after a break up. Initially, you’re energized, angry, desperate, feeling adrenaline rush through your system. After the adrenaline rush you feel depleted, sad, tired and hopeless. You feel like sleeping but you can’t. It’s important to take care of your body right now.

Helping your body recover will aid your mind and mood. At this strange, surreal time, almost everything you “feel” like doing will only aggravate the problem. Force yourself to eat small, healthy meals. Drink plenty of water. Take a long walk. Try to rest and recuperate. Avoid alcohol or other mood-altering drugs. When your body returns to balance, you’ll find your thinking to be clearer and more positive.

After a break up, your emotions are raw and exaggerated. You find yourself feeling like you’ll never be happy again. You might try to convince yourself you’re okay and doing fine. Some of us mask our hurtful emotions by pretending we don’t really care or thinking we’ll rebound immediately. Again, balance is key. Realize it’s okay to feel upset. It’s appropriate to feel sad, lonely and scared. Take this time to honor your feelings. Allow yourself the time to feel whatever you’re feeling. But, remember to reach out to a friend, relative or counselor if you don’t think you can manage.

After you’ve reached some type of balance, there are two ways to go. You can decide to move forward toward developing new friendships and relationships or you can try to heal your differences and reconcile with your previous partner. 

If you want to try to salvage your current relationship and learn new methods for making up with your ex, visit: After A Break Up - How to Get Your Ex Back

For more information: After a Break Up

Other related hubs by Breakup Advice:

Getting Over A Break Up

After A Break Up: How To Even The Score